🌻The Clive Saga - Chapter 20

Where there is smoke there is Fuego

I walked into the shop expecting the usual: Clive perched somewhere inconvenient, sword across his lap, ready to critique my sanding technique or demand Mt. Dew. Instead, I found him sitting tall, mask gleaming, cape draped, and the new skeletal companion balanced proudly on his blade.

“El Sargento Juan,” he said, “behold your defender of the Hacienda.”

I stared. “Clive… what gives, and why does it smell like smoke in here? The laser engraver has been used, so… explain the smoke?”

“Kid—so you start off disrespecting El Zorro and El Fuego too. You need to remember your place, junior partner. And when you do remember, you will address me with the respect I have earned.”

“Listen, El Zorro, stop referring to yourself in the third person. And exactly what do you mean by ‘the respect I have earned’?”

“Kid, you are such a drama queen. Of course it smells like smoke. El Fuego and I chased off some punk kids sniffing around your car. You really should lock it, but then again, with El Fuego and I—El Zorro de la Sunflower—protecting your Hacienda, it has never been more secure.”

“Listen, El Zorro—did you ever consider that my shop is packed to the ceiling with wood I’ve been saving? And does it strike you as just a bit risky to be letting El Pooch go crazy with those hell‑fire eyes of his? And why are they glowing now?”

“What do you expect, El Sargento Juan—see how I can address you respectfully? It’s not so hard. But just keep disrespecting El Fuego and you will find out what happens when he gets excited.”

“Well, if the shop goes up in flames, I know exactly why and who to hold responsible. Just keep your little friend under control. Now the important questions: was anyone hurt, and did the paint job on the car get singed?”

“Don’t worry, Kid, those punks won’t be back. You should have seen them high‑tail it out of here like a cat on fire.”

“That puts my mind at ease, El Zorro.”

“Good, Kid, you can relax. We got this under control.”

“That was sarcasm, El Zorro—way to read the room. I’m in no way at ease. I thought retirement was supposed to be relaxing, but I should have known my luck would take a wrong turn on that account.”

“Really, Kid, you have nowhere to go but up from here. Don’t think that El Fuego and I—El Zorro—didn’t see what you did to that innocent piece of wood you were trying to put back together after running it through the bandsaw six ways from Sunday. That’s a really pretty concept you have there, Kid, but it is sorely lacking in execution. And by that I mean that joint you were trying to assemble has more holes than Swiss cheese. You need to back up, think a little harder, and then do better.”

“So that’s the extent of the help you have for me?”

“Do we have to do everything around here, Kid? My job is to make you better, not do your job for you. And El Fuego’s job is to protect and maybe offer the occasional nip of encouragement.”

“Well, that’s just what I need to make my life easier. A senior partner who can’t give any useful advice and his guardian pooch from the nether regions who is willing to give me a nip of encouragement. I’m really starting to second‑guess some of my recent choices.”

“Kid, this is an inflection point. You now have two post‑mortal protectors. The Hacienda is safer than ever.”

“Or more dangerous,” I muttered.

He paused, then added: Now, Kid… where is my Mt. Dew? And Fuego would like a snack too. And get back to the drawing board and fix that crazy new idea of yours—this attempt is downright embarrassing.”

Of course he would.