🌻 The Clive Saga — CHAPTER 26

Cabin Fever

This is going to be the longest winter of my life! I spent two winters knocking on doors in Belgium, where it rains eight out of seven days a week. This one might be even more trying. Granted, it’s unusual for Utah, but remnants of a hurricane have flooded much of Southern California and even parts of Utah.

Clive has been indoors for a little over two days, and I’m telling you now — one of us may not survive this winter. He may be dead, but I could still strangle that bony neck of his if he doesn’t quit complaining. It probably wouldn’t even be a crime. Knowing him, he’d whine to the Post‑Mortal Agency for Afterlife Partnerships, and I’d be stuck with him for eternity. That’s just about how long the last two days have felt.

“Kid, get me outside — now!”

“Sure, Clive — what’s the rush?”

“Don Clive — or better, El Zorro, Kid! Tried to sneak that by, didn’t you? You’d better toe the line. We have a breach of security.”

“El Zorro, I’m sitting right here, and except for you whining, everything seems normal.”

“Get moving, Kid — this is serious. And bring El Fuego too.”

I open the shop door — at least the rain has stopped. Clive is mumbling about defending the Hacienda and whatnot.

After drying off his chair, I get him situated along with El Fuego, his sword, snack, and drink.

“Kid, those brazen flying rats are trying to take over the Hacienda. I won’t stand for it, do you hear me?”

“El Zorro, of course I hear you — I think the entire neighborhood heard you. Are you talking about that murder of crows? They hang out here every winter. Walnut trees nearby, giant sycamores to perch in. They’ll be dropping walnuts all over the driveway and road. You can thank your lucky stars I was smart enough to dig up the sycamore tree growing in my yard two days after we closed on the house. My dad and I took care of the Ogden 1st Ward building when I was about 15, and I learned those trees don’t belong on small plots of land. We had three of them, and I raked leaves and picked up broken branches from October to April. Told myself I’d never have one on any property I could afford to buy — they’re gigantic and belong on a real Hacienda.”

“Kid, I need a gun, and I need it now. I won’t put up with the honor of this Hacienda being denigrated in this fashion. If El Fuego were in his winged form, this wouldn’t be an issue.”

“El Zorro — winged form? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“Kid, the stuff I don’t tell you could fill the Library of Congress. Now about that gun, Kid.”

“El Zorro, I don’t ever remember Zorro having a gun. He was the more restrained hero of the West. Just ignore them — they’ll go away in a few moments. Probably leave a mess, but they’ll leave. Besides, you have a new snack to munch on and Mt. Dew. And after you insisted that now that you had a fan club, you couldn’t drink out of a foam cup anymore, I gave you one of my insulated 40‑oz cups. The least you could do is tell Susan thank you. Never mind — I’ll do it. Thanks for the drinks and snacks for Clive, Susan, and tell Mark the handmade chocolates are amazing. Your gifts for Clive may not turn out exactly as you hoped — unless, of course, you meant them to complicate my life. Then they’re doing exactly that. Hope things are going great for you up in Canada, and if you move, I know a certain post‑mortal entity who’d love to spend some time there — or at least I’d love for him to spend some time there.”

“Quit chatting with your school friend, Kid, and get that gun.”

“No guns, El Zorro — we’ve had that discussion, and I won’t let you have a firearm. Send El Fuego to nip at them, and they’ll be gone in a flash if they’re really getting under your skin — wait a minute, you don’t have any skin. You should have the patience of Job. You can sip ice‑cold Mt. Dew and crunch on snacks while you’re binge‑watching who‑knows‑what now. I’m afraid to check the browser cache.”

El Zorro, you're turning out to be a faliureas a scarecrow but I never doubted that outcome for a second. This murder of crows is pretty brazen.

The sun is going down, and it’s getting even colder. “Let’s get back into the shop, El Zorro.”

“All right, Kid — tomorrow’s another day.”

“Sure, El Zorro — and with my luck, I’ll wake up instead of spending it sleeping the day away. At least I can get away to school tomorrow we will miss Susan but the class is bustling with students cranking out flutes and thats always fun to watch."