The Clive Saga Chapter 13

🌻 CLIVE’S CORNER — Don Clive de la Sunflower: Mentor, Partner, and Post‑Corpeal Bureaucrat

Intro: The Long Skinny Package

Clive was waiting for me when I walked into the shop — poncho draped, hat tipped forward, skull tilted in that way that means he’s been rehearsing a speech for at least an hour. He didn’t even let me set my keys down.

“Well look who finally decided to show up. Kid, you’ve been tappin’ away at that contraption like a prairie dog on espresso. Meanwhile I’ve been sittin’ here bored stiff, watchin’ sawdust settle.”

He gestures toward the lathe, toward bowl #2 (may it rest in pieces), and toward bowl #3, which he insists I “destroyed on purpose just to test his patience.” Then he softens — just a hair.

“But… I suppose somebody’s gotta say somethin’. Just don’t let it go to your head, Kid. Grab that walking stick you were fussin’ over and let’s get back to makin’ somethin’ that actually exists.”

That’s when he asks the question.

“Did any packages come for me?”

I blink. “Why would you be getting packages?”

He leans back, smug as a frontier magistrate. “I ordered a few things. Especially a long skinny one. Practicing my sword skills with sticks from the shop isn’t doing it.”

The Contract You Didn’t Know You Signed

I ask the obvious question: “Whose money did you use, Clive? Whose credit card?”

He doesn’t miss a beat.

“Ours, of course, El Sargento Juan. I know you’re tired, but you need to keep up.”

I tell him I’m too exhausted to argue. He nods like a disappointed foreman marking the end of a shift.

“We will talk more about this.”

And oh, does he talk.

According to Clive — sorry, Don Clive — I entered into a Post‑Corpeal Mentorship Contract the moment he walked into my shop. This contract is administered by the Post Mortal Employment Office of Eternal Affairs, a bureaucracy so ancient and confusing it makes the DMV look like a lemonade stand.

I ask how the probationary period could have expired six months ago when he’s only been here a few weeks.

He pats my shoulder like a kindly undertaker.

“Kid — Kid — Kid… you gotta be pullin’ ole Don Clive’s leg. Time flows differently in the afterlife, El Sargento. Much differently. You’ll understand one day.”

Clive’s New Status in the Sunflower Clan

And so, by his own declaration (and apparently by eternal law), Clive is now:

Don Clive de la Sunflower

Permanent Mentor & Partner   Frontier Craftsman Emeritus, Post‑Corpeal Supervisor, and Co‑Owner of All Things That Are Yours (and therefore his).

His rights include:

• Supervising the shop 25 hours a day (afterlife time is stretchy).

• Critiquing bowls #2, #3, and all future bowls.

• Ordering “long skinny packages” for “official mentor duties.”

• Practicing swordsmanship in the shop.

• Calling me Kid, El Sargento Juan, or Partner depending on mood.

My responsibilities include:

• Sleeping more than four hours (per his repeated complaints).

• Keeping up with afterlife logic.

• Accepting that what’s mine is his, and what’s his is… also his.

• Enduring lectures titled things like: “The Proper Tools of a Post‑Corpeal Mentor: A Lecture in Three Acts.”

The Sunflower Clan now formally recognizes him as:

Mentor‑General of Craft, Spirit, and Questionable Purchases.

His poncho, hat, and incoming long skinny package are officially Clan Regalia.

Closing Teaser — Chapter 13

Clive ended the conversation by tapping the armrest of his chair with one bony finger.

“Permanent mentor and partner, Kid. Got it in one. Now… when that package arrives, we’ll begin Phase Two of your training.”

I didn’t ask what Phase Two was. I was too tired. And honestly… I’m not sure I want to know.

Chapter 14: The Unboxing of Don Clive’s Mysterious Long Skinny Package   Coming soon.